Church is important to our family. Maybe I should rephrase that. Church is very important to me and my husband. Our entire dating relationship revolved around going to church. Eric got confirmed before we got married. We got married in our church, served in the church, and baptized both our babies in this church. However, as of lately, I dread church. Not because I don't want to be there. Oh I do. I really do. It's just that church with my two boys is about the hardest thing we do each week. Truly, where else can you go where you are expected to magically contain two squirmy, loud, and restless little boys in a tiny square foot of space while at the same time trying to listen and be in communion with those around you? Not many places besides church offer guidelines such as these!
Church with kids is like an Olympic event...or maybe it's more like a marathon. The idea is to make it to the end. This may not be the politically correct thing to say, but I don't like going to church with my two children. It's hard. It's long. It's noisy. It's an exercise in patience. It's an exercise in humility. It takes a strong mind to ignore the looks you get as your smallest child is smacking the biggest child and screams ensue.
We were going to try to go the 9 a.m. Mass this morning, but for the first time EVER, the kids slept past 8 a.m. I literally woke up at 8:40 wondering if my children were still breathing. I couldn't figure out any other reason for them not to be crying, begging for warm milk, or basically going out of their way to irritate me.
The nice thing about being Catholic is if you miss one Mass, there's always another one to go to later in the day. We got up and got ready for 11 o'clock Mass. Amazingly enough, we were all clean, fed, dressed, and on time to church. As luck would have it, we also got there in time to score seats in the back row.
There used to be a time when my sweet husband and I would sit in one of the wings of pews pretty close to the front. There was also a time when we used to volunteer our services during the Mass. I used to Lector, and Eric used to be a Eucharistic Minister and Usher. Those days are long gone (for now). Now we sit NO WHERE near the front of the church. It's just too embarrassing.
After every piece of the Mass zips along, I am mentally doing a pumping fist of victory that we made it through that particular section without any major mishaps. My favorite mishaps include: screaming, crawling under the pews, children whose legs suddenly don't work, playing with the kneelers, and running down the aisle. There are many more things that the children find to do during church, but those tend to be the highlights.
The only thing we have going for us with Hudson is the fact that he is afraid of strangers, so he doesn't venture too far. Evan just has to be threatened 142 times to stop doing whatever he is doing.
It is sad to admit, but I have no idea what the homily was about today. I did listen to the First Reading. Does that count in gaining any spiritual enlightenment? I was just too busy keeping Hudson from touching the man sitting next to me. I used to get paranoid about my kids not bugging anyone during Mass, but I am relaxing my standards. I figure we are doing all that we can by sitting as far away from the action as possible, and if people are lucky (or unlucky) enough to have to sit by us, well, there's not a whole lot I can do except to smile and apologize.
One highlight of church this morning was Eric needing to help collect the offering. Evan went with him up and down the aisles and deposited the money into the big collection baskets at the back of the church. He was so proud. However, Hudson tried to follow his brother and dad as they walked down the aisle. That led to me chasing him down the aisle. I just love being noticed in the middle of church.
I have to keep reminding myself that it will get better. The kids will learn to sit still. I know this happens because I see lots of kids from my school sitting nicely with their parents. Maybe someday we'll actually earn our way back to the front of the church, proud and quiet! In the meantime, you can catch us in the back, trying desperately to maintain some semblance of peace as those around us shoot us dirty looks. Eric and I are so going to heaven for getting through these Sundays with little people.
I know too well your pain. And try multiplying your boys by 2 and it gets even more fun.
ReplyDeleteYou should try visiting an LDS church some Sunday--you might feel more at home with the little guys--it's always a bit of a circus with parents trying desperately to keep kids quiet and under control but for the most part, everyone's in the same boat (or they had been at some time in their lives) so no one's too bothered by it. : ) (My favorite story was one Sunday when one kid was really acting up and so his dad swung him up on his shoulder and headed down the aisle to go out of the chapel, and all the way out, the kid yelled, "Help! Save me! Save me!!!")
Your boys might be a little too young for it still, but I found that Silly Putty worked pretty well for keeping my boys quiet & occupied during that long Sunday meeting. I kept it in my bag and it only came out during that meeting so they looked forward to it each week. That and fruit snacks...I find that keeping their mouths busy keeps the noise level down. : )
Oh I too dread those days. Its such a relief to be done and happily going home with no mishaps. The church here, we've learned to sit on the side closest to bathrooms for what seems to be the mandatory trip EVERY time. We sit closer and they are 'sometime's more involved because they can see but at least if we sit further back we aren't as disruptive...oh and if Catholics don't believe in birth control ;) and so many older members come from large family where do all the dirty looks come from?!! That always kills me that its the old ladies who get mad. What...did they never go though that? I don't get it.
ReplyDeleteI think Jack is actually doing lots better now and William I now worry that he's paying attention vs. just zoning out and Max. Dear dear Max still needs those 142 reminders too. What's worse is our friends just switched form the Catholic church they go to, to the post one and have been to the last two masses we have. That's 6 boys and its horrible sitting near them. Now I have to find a nice way to say we can't sit together because its not commradery, its just doubling the insanity. Ahhhh, I look forward to the quiet days but it will be lonely. Sean and I dated and attended church together too so its hard to be so NOT into it but someday.
Thankfully, we go to a tiny, itty, bitty church that my great-great-grandparents helped establish. So we get understanding looks and help with the girls, then all the older people remind me that they remember when I was my girls' age. Fun stuff. Someday we'll all get to those peaceful church services.
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